and then reject all three properties because none of them comes with a sex dungeon.
Every once in a while you’ll see me with a bag. Say nothing. Just allow me to indulge in my white trash roots.
It’s okay, I forgive you.
Remember that time you took me there on a date? That was the moment you became my boyfriend.
Every once in a while amazing things will happen to us. Let’s remember them often and let everything else fuck off.
You will never bust out the camera to capture my “glow.” The last thing I’ll want is a ton of photos commemorating the day I stopped being able to see my feet.
See how fucking annoying that is? Telling someone to relax NEVER WORKS.
As far as I’m concerned, that should be in the wedding vows.